Decisions Decisions
Recently I’ve been considering getting myself a brand new FWB – or Friend With Benefits for those not up to date with the terminology. It’s around 12 weeks since I last got to see my previous FWB, the one I fondly call -B, whilst I find it hard to believe that it’s been so god damn long, it really has been a long 12 weeks or so and discovering he had met a wonderful new woman that’s now his girlfriend was kinda difficult, but the entire time I’ve been longing for one last night with him. The opportunity to explore and experience things we never quite got around to. If I knew the last time I was with him was going to be ‘The LAST time’ I probably would’ve let go of my inhibitions a lot more and just gone wild.
At the same time I’ve revived enough of a connection with another guy whom I met online months ago – I think I’ll call him Tim, Enough so that he invited me to come and spend the weekend with him. An invite which I accepted on the proviso that X came home this weekend in order to leave me the car, thus giving me a way to go visit him. He offered to come visit me, even said I was more than welcome to bring my son. This won’t be happening, but I get along with him pretty well, he’s fun and full of life and maybe just what I need. Even if things go amazingly well I can’t see myself in an actual relationship with ANYONE at this point in time, It would certainly start out as just a fuck buddies kind of thing, most likely with much less of an emotional tie than what I’ve had with -B
After discovering -B was going to be home alone without his girl over the weekend I was already scheming how I could go about squeezing seeing him into my visit with Tim. I was thinking of luring -B in to some kind of platonic meeting, something like watching the footy at the pub or some other activity along those lines. All in the hope that I could turn it into a sexual rendezvous Figuring If I slept with -B I could get over my stupid shy nervousness enough to be able to relax and have a good time with Tim (It just happens that they live almost on top of each other, about 2 hours inland from me).
I had already discussed the possibility of a one last time, top secret, on the side liaison with -B a few weeks ago after some rather steamy cyber sex. On Monday he texted me in regards to some porn links I’d sent him. Over Tuesday & Wednesday this led to a heavy and hot to and fro of txt messages, or sexting. On Wednesday he made more than one reference to the fact he was all alone at home and incredibly horny, saying that if I had the desire to have another night filled with Benefits I was more than welcome to visit him and take total advantage of him!
I could’ve smashed something, here was the guy I’ve been day dreaming about fucking for months, offering me free, no strings attached sex and because X had chucked a stupid tantrum, leaving me car-less I couldn’t have what I’ve been longing for for so very long.
Yesterday there was a lot more sexting, followed up by msn chat that led to cyber sex, which in turn it evolved in to phone sex. With a pretty loose yet definite decision that I will spend Monday night fucking him senseless. I was certain to ask whether or not he was sure he wanted to, I wouldn’t want him spending the night with me if it would make him feel guilty afterwards. Also it will only happen under the proviso that no one is to know, the last thing I want is for my actions to hurt someone else. I already feel a little guilty for doing what I’ve already done with him over the past few days. I don’t want to hurt the new GF, but at the same time… Well he was mine first!!
So I find myself in a position where I am being offered that one more night, the exact thing I’ve been dreaming of for 3 months… Yet I am having some doubts, actually quite a few doubts, so I figure why not voice my concerns and get your feedback.
His tongue is magical, his cock spectacular and his skills are out of this world. It’s him I think of whenever I’m getting myself off. I’ve always regretted not letting go and fully expressing myself sexually with him and hope this ‘one last time’ will rectify this. I just don’t know if I should? I’m also worried I’ll clam up and get overly shy and not achieve the experience I want to have with him. But I also think one last night with him will give me the chance to kind of ‘practise’ before I meet up with Tim, as well as the opportunity to do the things I wanted to do but didn’t get around to doing with -B, such things as Anal Sex, and showing him my new magnificent squirting powers! 😛
So what should I do?
What would you do?
If you had the opportunity to revisit a past sexual escapade, with the greatest fuck you’ve ever had, wouldn’t you want to do so?
Is it totally immoral for me to sleep with a guy whom I know has a girlfriend?
I need your feedback guys – just comment or email me at admin [At] Screaming-Violet.com
These doubts feel like complete Whorage FAIL – but If I address them and do go through with it, I think I’ll come out ahead, ready to move onto Tim, the possible new FWB…
Violet xx
Elodie says
I can’t tell you what to do.
What I would do: cut the jerk off. He’s enjoying having two girls on a string, he’s betraying his girlfriend, he doesn’t deserve sex with anyone. He’s dishonest, and that is the biggest turnoff in the world.