A lot goes on, But nothing happens!
I haven’t been around much lately, I wish I could say it’s because I’m off doing incredibly exciting things, but it just aint true. A whole bunch of stuff has happened but not much has changed.
I’m still trying to sort out my financial problems & the whole issue with centerlink1, but I’d like to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you who’ve been buying sex toys via my site, especially at AdultToysCorner.com.au those commissions are keeping me from filing bankruptcy 😛
X has been being quite a decent human being lately, He’s changed jobs 3 or 4 times lately, Keeping me very busy helping him ‘christen’ each new truck 😛 The one he has now is pretty god damn swish, It’s f’ing huge, has a swing out set of steps instead of a god damn ladder and it’s even an auto – no need to change gears, plus lots of other fancy truck stuff. But most importantly a huge, roomy, comfy bed for me.
Actually just waiting on him to get back with our boy whom he took for a run up to Brisbane before the school holidays ended.
My girls, my 2 bestest friends, a beautiful lesbian couple whom I adore in many, many ways have moved 🙁 They left last week to move up to Brisbane. I miss them deeply, but know that they needed to move and start afresh if they were going to be happy. I hope to get to go see them week after next when I’m in Brisbane. – this post is starting to have a lot to do with Brisbane.
And -B, my dear dear -B *shaking my head*, not sure what to say about him. He broke up with the girlfriend, yay for me, but things have been so G rated since then. For how ever many months that they were together the texts and chats were steaming hot & incredibly kinky… now not so.
I almost feel like his wife. In the sense that we chat and emotionally are close, when I’m up there I sleep next to him, I take care of his offspring and keep him awake with my snoring, but no fucking!! Seriously not sure where the fuck I stand with that one. I’m happy to just be the friend, Im happy to be the booty call, but I just want to know what he wants me to be. Asking him outright what he wants would be far too easy! lol.
Next week we are going to Brisbane. I saw him quickly two weeks ago and he shocked the crap out of me by asking if I wanted to stay with him at his parents place when we are up there. See what I mean by the wife BS? Maybe FWB got changed to Friends Who Baby sit whilst i wasn’t paying attention. Not that I mind being the baby sitter, his spawn rock & I possibly love them a little too much, but this baby sitter would like to fuck their father. I have such a ball running around and playing with them, just wish he wanted to play with me.
I feel all emotionally needy, and pathetic & plain old stupid. Insecure, shy, embarrassed and a whole bunch of other things because I don’t know if he wants those kinds of benefits. I’m far too insecure to ask him, or even touch him for fear of rejection, or awkwardness, or making him feel like he has to fuck me. I don’t know it all feels like a fucking mine filed and I don’t want to blow myself up.
I had honestly just gotten him out of my system. Every night for 9 months+ I’d gone to sleep every single night imagining fucking him, then about 6 weeks ago that all went away and I was all ready to move on and leave those sexual desires in the past. Then he goes and gets all single, and asks me to come help him and I’m right back where I fucking started.
I will spend a few nights in his bed over the weekend before we get to Brisbane, and at least 1 night (on which there won’t be kids in the house) on the way back, If that results in nothing – I’m moving on. I do have hopes for a nice hard after concert fuck, but not realistic ones.
Will let you know how it all goes, Will let you know whats up when I work out where the bloody hell I am!
Thanks for listening to my rant, off to pick up the boy from his dad, perfect timing.
- If you don’t know what I’m talking about don’t worry it’s not that exciting for you [↩]