This is a sleek and subtle G Spot Vibrator that can pack a decent sized punch in the vibration strength department. It’s close to perfect in so many ways, yet it is so far away in some of the most important. Nevertheless as much as I want to criticize it at the end of the day it’s quite a good vibrator.
Uma’s Stats and Facts
- Manufacturer: JeJoue
- Material: Silicone
- Colours: Black
- Power Source: Rechargeable
- Size: 7.5 inches overall length with a maximum girth of 4.5″ at top of shaft
- Color: Black, Purple, Pink and White
- Controls: 3 button interface with (+) (~) (–)
- Vibrations: 5 levels of intensity with 7 different patterns of vibrations
- Other Features: Waterproof, Travel Lock, Quick Shut Off
- Price: $139au @BlackLabelSexToys.com.au
This is my first luxury G Spot vibrator… Ever! I know it may seem strange that I don’t already have one, but normally when I’m masturbating I want it ALL. Whilst I like G Spot stimulation I NEED clitoral stimulation to orgasm. This is why I tend to stick with Rabbit style, dual stimulation vibrators for solo sex. Rabbit Vibrators tend take care of both my likes AND my needs when getting myself off. But at the opposite end of the spectrum that is my sex life, when I’m with a partner that is when my G Spot toys come into play. My toy box is well stocked with all kinds of wands, dildos, and metal behemoths. But none of these toys vibrates which has led to the JeJoue Uma being a welcome addition to the toy box… But enough about me, this is meant to be about the toy not the reviewer!
Like all of JeJoue’s products it arrives in a beautiful black box that makes for awesome storage. It’s the kind of packaging I would want for my sex toy designs to be placed in. It is all very minimal with just Uma along with her charger and instruction booklet inside.
Strength wise Uma has 7 vibration intensities that range from low through an ‘above average’ high. Far stronger than vibrators powered by regular batteries yet no so high as rechargeable wands. I find myself quite impressed by the strength of the vibrations. At the more intense end of the vibration scale there is a rumbley bass note which signifies a deeper penetrating vibration, yet it feels buzzy as all crap on my hand. This is both a plus & a minus. The plus is that all parts of the toy can be used for stimulation (like the Mimi-esque base :P) on the other side it buzz fucks whichever other part of your body its touching – most often the hand or fingers, sending them numb and tingly.
The vibrations flow well throughout the toy but are most intense towards the tippity top of the shaft. On the downside though are more buzzy than rumbley which has left my hands feeling as though they may go numb on more than one occasion. Sound wise it’s not offensive, far quieter than I’d expect for its strength, which when considered alongside the fact that it has a “Busted!” style quick shut off (hold the – button for 2 seconds) makes it well suited for parents such as myself.
Uma really delivers when it comes to the vibrations, but for me at least isn’t really a G Spot vibe though. It’s great for other places, it’s awesome as a straight up, thrusting vibe, but just not for the sole purpose of pleasuring one’s G Spot.
Yes there is a curve. and Yes she has strong vibrations that are more pronounced towards the head for better precision stimulation, but for me it’s not enough. I was able to angle it to hit its intended target, but it would be truly awesome if it had a far more pronounced curve. One that really hones in on that hard to reach spot. For mine, strong pounding, deep massage and lots of vibrations are what’s needed to get it to come out and play. The vibrations are there with Uma but not so much the angled targeting of the G Spot, instead it feels as though it’s vibrating all of my vagina, instead of trying to focus in on one spot. On the positive side of things it can double as a clitoral vibe and it is possible to slide it in between two bodies whilst going at it.
But then there’s the buttons…
The buttons, the buttons, who stole the buttons?…
With such a simple and intuitive control panel one would think controlling this vibe would be a lot like child’s play… sadly no. Simply pressing the buttons takes almost Herculean strength. It’s beyond ridiculous. I have 100% use of my hands and fingers so I can only imagine how difficult a handicapped or disabled person would find them. They are dreadfully stiff. After a few uses I found the + and – buttons became a little easier to press but the ~ is still very difficult. I can’t change strength or function easily during use, it’s a matter of taking it out, pressing the buttons and then re-inserting. Talk about buzz kill!
The configuration, placement and programming of the buttons is as intuitive as it gets. Placed on the base of the toy they are placed perfectly to be easily accessed during play and the (+) (~) (–) labels are easily understood. + initially turns the toy on and then each time you depress it the vibrator intensity, and strength goes up, – decreases the strength and intensity of vibrations. Both the + and – buttons are round, raised, and clearly labeled. ~ lies between the other two buttons and isn’t raised. It is barely visible from some angles and in a darkened room it tends to disappear. (Now others may disagree with me regarding its visibility & I admit my eyesight isn’t 100%, but I didn’t notice this all important button until after I read the instructions.) It is this ~ button that cycles through the 7 various patterns of vibration, it also plays a role in the toys travel lock feature. I do however love that you can increase and decrease the intensity on any of the 7 vibration patterns which essentially gives you 49 different settings. So no matter what your preferences are you are almost guaranteed that there is a setting to suit your tastes.
The two raised buttons also act as the connection point for the magnetic charger. You simply just align the charger and base – if you have it the wrong way around the magnets will guide you as to the correct orientation. It takes around 2 hours to do a full charge from empty which gives you around the same amount of playtime. Whilst charging you will see a small light flashing. My photo is pretty dreadful, but the light is actually a little heart which I find kinda cute. Anyway… Once fully charged the light will stay solidly on.
One of the kick ass things I love most about JeJoue – above the body safe materials, strong motors and spectacular packaging – is that they put their logo on their chargers. As a sex toy collector it’s really easy to forget which cord goes with which darn toy. I know it isn’t really necessary as their chargers are quite unique with their curved, magnetic dongle1, but it is the kind of small touch I love. Things such as this show me that a company is thinking about me, their customer and end user in the design of their products instead of simply their bottom line.
I love the soft, velvety feel of this luxury, brushed silicone. It feels absolutely divine. I do find you need to add a bit of extra lube when using any silicone sex toy – make sure it’s water based as silicone based lubes have a nasty habit of damaging silicone toys – thankfully Black Label send you lube samples along with every order – water based lubes for silicone toys and silicone or oil based lubes for glass and stainless steel toys. Caring for this toy is also ultra simple due to the facts that it’s non-porous silicone AND it’s waterproof, so a quick wash with warm water and soap does the job nicely.
The difficulty of using the buttons on the Uma is god damn frustrating and somewhat infuriating especially in the price bracket. The Curve isn’t as pronounced as I’d personally like for a G Spotting toy but what it lacks in curvature it makes up with raw strength and versatility. And the Silicone. Yeah you need to use a bit more water based lube with it than say a glass wand, but that really isn’t a detracting factor. On Strength and quality I’d like to give it a good 4.5 (I save 5’s for the out of this world toys) but damn these buttons. Right as I type this I’ve managed to accidentally travel lock it again & am struggling to figure out the combo to unlock it! Such frustration brings it down to a 4.
If you would like to own your very own Uma you can get one from Black Label Sex Toys Where they have the entire line of JeJoue’s luxury sex toy range available for purchase. Black Label are incredibly discrete, and they guarantee your privacy, with all packages being incredibly non-descript – no one but you will ever know what is inside that parcel. They also include lube samples and offer free shipping on orders over $150.
After reviewing the Uma I must tell you I cannot wait to get my hands(and other parts of my anatomy!) on the JeJoue FiFi – a rabbit vibe with this kind of strength… omg – It may just be the toy to knock Soraya out of poll position in my toy box!
- can’t think of the correct term so dongle it is [↩]
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