As Queensland braced themselves for tropical cyclone Yasi this week I had my own storm of insanity blow through my home.
I bitched and moaned on twitter and even breathed a sigh of relief when I initially thought it was over but later I realised the pause was just the eye of the storm and it continued to turn my world upside down for another day or so before blowing up north and into poor B’s lap.
Monday afternoon I got a call from this mate of mine saying he was just stopping off in town on his way down to Melbourne. Cool, excellent, hadn’t seen him for ages so headed out to meet him at the pub. But what I encountered when I met up with him really wasn’t what I had expected. Him, the huge horse like dog (It looked like Hagrid’s dog) and some head fucked space monkey of a chick who looked like she hadn’t washed her hair all year – as well as a car AND a trailer full of all kinds of crap.
I was of the understanding that he was headed to Melbourne to start filming a movie and was leaving his place, his dog and everything else at home and would fly home every few weeks or so. He was looking for someone to move into the spare room and kinda house & dog sit for him. I found this out right after discovering that B needed a place to move to, so I organised for them to meet and for him to move in and look after this mate of mines place. He was meant to leave all the furniture, white goods and the dog there for B to look after so it was a bit weird when I turned up and saw the dog.
Him and this whacked out space cadet were a bit worse for wear, drugs, alcohol or a combination of the two had them looking a bit haggard. On his hand he had this big swelling thing, it looked a bit like what you would expect a white spider bite to look after a few days :Big, red, swollen and slightly pussy. Before long I find out the truth – it’s MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus ) a form of high infectious staph infection which he had caught from skull fucked monkey (can you tell how much I like this female??) who has had it for 3 years.
He needs to go to the hospital and get anti-biotics to treat it as does she, so we organise for them to drop the trailer at my place and put the dog into my yard so they can go to casualty and get treated. I then have to let B know so he can be careful and give the place a good clean so he doesn’t catch it himself. But just getting from point A to my house was ridiculously difficult. I drove my car, she drove theirs but failed to just follow me. I think they went around the block and the wrong way around 3 or 4 times before we finally got headed in the right direction.
Then the trailer doesn’t want to come off! So they use some spray oil etc and after half an hour of tugging and banging eventually they get it off. The huge dog goes into my backyard and the two of them head off to the hospital.
An hour or so later we realise that the dog isn’t out there – it’s escaped from my yard. Thankfully we find him just sitting beside the house next door, so we lock him back in and put the bins up against the gate to stop him forcing it open again. So he decides to jump the pretty high side fence and starts crying at the other gate as he can’t get back in. We put the dog back in the yard and sit with it til it falls asleep, sadly he didnt stay asleep long and started whimpering like a wus (kinda funny for such a big dog). We deal with the dog crying half the night whilst keeping my dog in the house to prevent them brawling. I’m starting to loose my patience as I’m getting really over-tired, but I am not a fair weather friend and will bend over backwards to help a mate. I do my best just to suck it up.
Around 11pm I get a call that they aren’t going to get seen by the doctor or have been taken off the list for not sitting in the waiting room. They tell me they will just sleep in the car out the front. I’m slightly embarrassed to make friends sleep in their car but as they have a matress in there and my dog likes to eat people it’s about all that can be done. Just hope the neighbours don’t notice.
I’m told that the plan is that in the Morning they will just get back on the road and go to see a Dr once they get to Sydney….
It’s midnight on Monday – Day #1 and the storm has barely started to show itself… stay tuned for the next instalment of this melodrama.